Earlier in the month, I talked about taking extreme measures to motivate us to make more time for sex. I wrote a check to an organization I loathe, with the agreement that if we didn’t meet our sexual goal for the rest of the month, the check would go in the mail. This strategy of creating a strong negative consequence is actually quite effective, perhaps even more effective than creating a positive reinforcement for your goals.
Even with the check up on our fridge as a daily reminder of our goal, it was hard to make as much time as we wanted to for sex. Our biggest obstacle was being sick. We both had colds on and off throughout the month, and nothing is less sexy than a sinus infection. On the days we were feeling good we noticed that the best strategy was to seize the first moment in the day when we both felt like being intimate. When we seized the moment and made love early in the day, the whole day was more joyful and we felt more productive at work. If we let those early opportunities slip by, the days flew by and we were asleep without having made love. We also created a standing date on Sundays to spend intimate time together, whether that meant a massage or making love.
If you are trying to make more time for sex and increase your sexual frequency, my best advice is to seize the moment. Have a standing agreement that if both of you are in the mood you’ll take the opportunity and get busy. Don’t think that the mood will strike again at a more convenient time. Pair this spontaneity with a standing weekly sex date and don’t compromise that time for anything! Making more time for sex sure isn’t easy, but it is absolutely worth it.
