A brief note on an essential erotic art: goofiness.
Long term relationships can easily fade into a practical partnership, without any of the fun, spontaneity and romance of the early stages of lust. In our stressful world it is important to know how to relax and not take yourself to seriously. We need to actively cultivate joy and the cathartic release of laughter. We need to be willing to show our lovers all parts of ourselves, not just the polished sides of our personalities. So as a sex educator I highly recommend you give yourself the permission to be flat out goofy.
A sense of humor is a great asset as a lover. The ability to be goofy takes it the next level. Goofiness is the ability to be a bit eccentric, to be free in your body and to have the confidence to make a fool of yourself. Make up little songs in stressful moments and sing them out loud (this strategy got us through many long days of loading moving trucks!) Tell stupid jokes that will make your lover guffaw. Dance wildly in your kitchen. Let go of any pretense, release any need to be sophisticated and just be a goof. Hopefully, your lover will join you, and you’ll enjoy many moments of sheer pleasure as you laugh at the absurdity of life together.